Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
