We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
