He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
