Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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