He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize