haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
