omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Drunk is not a location!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
