the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
