I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
