so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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