dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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