I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize