I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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