no, he came in my armpit
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
