that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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