You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
