Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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