Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
do herpes really smell.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
