Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
