The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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