my phone needs a breathalizer
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
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Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
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Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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