remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
