I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
