whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
