white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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