i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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