Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
