I'm so fucking centered right now
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
