we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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