508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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