glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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