I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?