Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize