i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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