i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
