are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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