A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
God, I missed his penis.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
