what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
