Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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