Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
