Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
