we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize