3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
