She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
