You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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