im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
