Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize