lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Damn victory sex feels great
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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