you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
