I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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