what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
