I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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