I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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