WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
