This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
