There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
