3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
