The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
