I want to stick my p in your. b.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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