Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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