When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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