A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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