So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize