Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
