And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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