She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he thought i was a dude.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
