I only kidnapped one of them. chill
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
