So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
