So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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